High on Sugar: The Catty Days (aka Prologue)
by PlayerPrincessJediFANGIRL
Summary: Slightly sugar-high and very sleepy, the writer tells the tale of how Agatha got her ugly cat, Reaper. Weird misspellings, OOC characters and horrid grammar are part of the charm!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Has anyone ever been high on sugar AND conveniently get a case of incurable insomnia? Because the authoress has, and is. And she's written a slightly crazy fic for y'all. And it's crazy because IT'S TWO O' CLOCK, I JUST SAID THAT ALREADY, YOU LISTEN TO ME, OKAY?**

 **These are like the Firewhiskey Fics from the Harry Potter Fandom, but SGE-fied. And we all know that our favorite protagonist, Agatha,** ** _loves_** **eating sugary stuff. So why not introduce the readers the** ** _High on Sugar_** **series?**

 **Weird misspellings, out-of-character characters and wrong grammar are part of the charm! And you feel offended or insulted by anything, please know that I mean** ** _nothing_** **of it.**

 **This is written in the not-so-honourable honor of my favorite character of the Potterverse, Hermione Granger, and my brother, AND Tom Felton, whose birthdays all fall this week.**

Agatha wanted to by a cat. Dont ask why, ok? When.a person wants to but a car cat, you dont queshion them, ok? Also, I AM de author, and I conrol the stuh it, ok?

Ok, so wear were we when we stopped? Hahahaha I'm , alliteration, hahaha! Anyway, agatha wants a cat. I loke cats too, so I don't blame herr.

"i will buy the ugalyest, disgustingest kit-cat I can find in town," sge sad, goimg into her car. Og wait, they dont have cars in SGE,! Ok, so she walk. Like, she puts on her shoos and tyes the sholces, because SHE WEARS CLUMPS, CLUMps have shoelaces, it says so on Wakipefis. Wookieepedia. WIIPEDOA. WIKIPEDIA. She also have pointy nalls on the shoes because SHE likes tobe kick Tehdoss. she is so bave and steomg and mitey! She also punches him. Her first is packed wif suoerpowwe! Her hans are floo of s trength. Becox gurlpowdr is STRING. Strong. Wait. Sorry, my bed. No Tedros in the canon storylin yet. BUT I CAN WRITE ABOUT TEDROS, BECAUSE I'M THE AUThor. (Haha geddit)

Anuway, she walk to the toen. It was very busu. She was weared a blak drrss becase black is her fayvorit calar. It was angle-lengthed and durty and stuff. I DONT NO WHAT SBE DRESSES LIKE, OK? SHE WHERE WAT SHE WANTS. I DONT CAR. SHE CAN WAR WUTEVA SHE WANTZ, BECOZ I'M DA WRITA AND UR NOT. ok? She where clumps too, because Soman says she weres clumps. I fink clumps are probably hi heals but uglier. Because agatha thinks she is ugly. Acholly, she isnt ugly. Because I have Blak Hare too. If black hair is ugly, then I is saying I am ugly roo! I AM NOT UGLy! So agatja is prety! Geddit?

SHE IS so pretty thag everybuddy how sees her says, "wow, agatha! You re so petty!"

Her best fiend, sophi, is very petty too. Sophie have very long yellow hare and very biutyfull green ayes, like gras. She saw Agatha and said, "hi, agatha!what a lovey day!were are you go in?"

"I'm going to buy a bat." Agatha replyed happyly.

"oh, I must come to! Wut cat do youblike?"

Agatha was ferry honest. "I want to by an ugly cat!"

Sophie was serpised suprized surprised. "What? Bit you a so fare! You should by a pat as fare as you!"

"Oh, I agree, acholly. Ur rite, it does make sence. Becoz I am so pretty. I shood buy a goodlooking Cat." agatha said, thinking. She finks very fast.

"Den let's go! We must purcheese ASAP, or the other ppl might buy it before you. We really should hurry," Sophie urged, pulling Agatha out of the house. Agatha, finding sense in Sophie's words, followed her best friend as they hurried towards the old pet's menagerie down the street.

Wait, I need some more sugar. I'm low on sugar right now. I _need_ to be HIGH on sugar, you know, because it _is,_ after all, called 'High on Sugar'. Not _low._ So of course my sugar intake must be very, very high, even though eating sugary foods is extremely bad for my health and frowned upon in most situations.

But it's summer, so I can do what I want.

I'm gonna go have s'mores in a jar (if you want the recipe, you can go see my profile) and a piece of chocolate mousse. And a cup of hot chocolate with whipped candy cream and marshmallows and wafer sticks. Am I making you hungry? Well _I'm_ hungry, so that's only fair that _you're_ hungry. Give me twenty minutes to go fridge-raiding. Cue Indiana Jones theme.

BRB.

Ah. I'm black.

Ok, so wear were we? Oh, yes, they going to Pet Zoo. They were runing, when a suddenly Agatha trip!

"Ohhhhh nooooo!" Agatha mooned, grounded, and screened disparingly.

"oh my bff! R u ok? Do I kneed to call the ambalans?" sophi cryed scaredly. "Oh, what shood I do? Wut 2 do? Wut 2 do?"

"r u ok?" someone said sudden, like he appeared in nowhere. Like apparate in Harry Potter. Thats so cool. I like to apparate two.

"no, I m NOT ok!" Agatha shooted loudly. "May be you should try trip too! Its very fun!"

"omg, u no wut? I am nott gonna hell you! You are mean and road." the guy said unpolitely.

"Whateva! My bff can help me." Agatha yielded back.

"that guy shore is catty. He's so cinical." Agatha muttered loadly.

"yeah, I agree, but he's also very handsome!" Sophie signed.

Agatha locked at the boy. He was locking at her too. The boy was indeed very hand some. He had fluffy blonde hair like the cross between a cat and a blonde guy. He was very tall and had muscles, just like every other human. And blue eyes like water. Oh wait, water is transparent. My bad. Anyway, he was the handsomest boy Agatha has ever seen.

"Wow, you are very pretty." the boy said to Agatha in a posh England accent. "Sorry I was an ares back dare. My mane is Tedros."

"Hello, I am Agatha." Agatha said. Then she Saud, "this is my bff Sophie." because no one likes being the 3rd wheel. 3Rd wheel peepel are very sad oftenly because they are jelus of their friends. "I thin you are very handsome, too. Like me Sofie."

"Yeah I know." he smelled. "May I ask wear air you going?"

"U know, just the pet soo down da raod 4 ur in4mation"

"ok, well see you, agatha."

"Bye by"

After he was goon, Agatha truned to Sophia furryusly. "Oh, I think that boy is only nice to me bev5ause I am petty."

"yes, yes, I agree," siphie chimed. She was pahaps a little bite peeved that Tedros didn't notice her.

"I don't _want_ 2 b the centa of a tension!I just want to be a normal gal! Y can't I be ugly and unnoticeable like every1 else! Maybe expect you!" Agatha cryed unhappyly. (No shes not a Mary Sue, ok? C this? She is not a Marry su!)

"Well, as your fd, I rlly wanna help u.6" Sophie said honesty. "So I will cast a charm that will make you ugly. Wingardium Leviosa!"

Nofing happened, cuz this is SGE and not Harry Potter. If this is Harry Potter will have lots and lots and lots of Hermione cuz,she is my spirit animal. But its not, so forget eat. Also, we don't need a levitating charm in this story.

"Oh, sorry, I mean, _Uglificulius!_ "

(that means "turn ugly" in Player Talk.)

Nothing happened too, because this spell doesnt bloody exist.

"Oh sorry my friend, look like I can't help yo," Sophie said apollogicly.

"it's ok, maybe the god don't want me to be normal after all." Agatha signed sadly.

"Maybe u should but an old, ugly car after all" Sofia suggested.

"I wish I wasn't soul petty. I wish ppl will stup noticing me for my biuty. I wish I am inattractive. A Ll this attention make me feel sick!" Agatha spit.

Suddenly, _ding dine dingh dang!*_ Something ding'ed. Like a fairy chime or something. I DON'T KNOW, I'VE NEVER SEEN A FERRY.

"Oh, Agony Aggu Aggie, somethings happening!" Sophie gapsed. And indeed, sth was happening.

I have no idea what.

Anyway, sth was going on! It was rargther fishy and strange, like in the sense that Doctor Strange is called Doctor Strange. He is a doctor, and his name is strange. It's all very Strange. Doctor Strange is Strange and a Doctor. I think he is the 100th doctor, Sherlock Holmes, who went to Narnia and met Gandalf who told him to destroy a Horcrux with Hermione Granger, who fell in love with a vampire and a werewolf but ultimately chose someone else, I don't know who, I think its Draco Malfoy (I hope it is him, he's really handsome) or Neville or someone JUST NOT RON OK?!, and Jennifer Lawrence, who was a tribute in the Game of Thrones in which you survive by running around in a maze as a maze runner, and won by killing Snow. Wait, do I mean President Snow or Jon Snow? No idea. I hope it's not Jon snow. He's a nice guy. Anyway. She just killed someone named SNOW. Maybe she killed _actual_ snow, melted it, and drank it all up. Relly, I have _no_ ikea whats going one. It's like NOFFING and EVERYTHING is happening al at once!

I TOLD YOU I KNOW NOTHING, READER! DONT BLAME ME, OK? BLKAME THE SUGAR! AND STUFF! I DO3N'T CAR!1111

Anyway, something happened. Agatha saw sparkles fly around her, and suddenly her dress transformer into a shirt proclaiming "Call Me Ugly". And a cat appeared in front of her. A small black ugly herrible (haha geddit) disgusting boney cat. It had large, yellow eyes and it seemed to be scowling.

"Oh, looks like you got a cat after all," Sophia joked.

"I'mma call it 'Reaper' for 'Really Ew And Puke-like Ebony Rat-hater'." Agatha decided proudly.

Since then, people called Agatha ugly and not pretty, because her shirt said so. And that was how Agtha got Reaper, or Really Ew And Puke-like Ebony Rat-hater, her demon cat.

 ** _Fun. I mean FIN._**

 **A/N: Thank you for reading. It was an honor to have y'all read my crap. I'm sane now, it's alright.**

 **Tell me what you think! Was it crazy? Weird? Stupid? Leave a review!**

 **Also: BOOK 4 IS COMING! And so is winter! Woohoo!**


	2. Author's Note

Update:

Because of the popular (sort of) response towards High on Sugar- The Catty Days, I've decided to write another High on Sugar one-shot. Check my profile for updates!

Thank you for taking time to read this!

-Player


End file.
